VibeJolt

There is a concept out there called 'the 5 love languages' that I kind of agree with....the idea that we all express love in our own ways, and that if our partners don't recognize how the other expresses their love, they might miss the message entirely.

For example; my wife likes to serve and dote on me. If I didn't understand that a spotless house and my favorite meal on the table and my drinks constantly refilled was one of many ways she showed her love to me - I might not appreciate the gestures as much. She rarely verbalizes her feelings, but they are demonstrated every day in her actions.

I in turn, take pride in providing her security....emotional, physical, financial - I ensure all her needs are met and that she wants for nothing. This is a positive dynamic for us as we are constantly repaying one another for good deeds done which only encourages us both to keep it up.

Perhaps your husband shows you his love for you in ways you haven't fully recognized yet? It may be worth learning more about that love language concept to see if he shows it in ways you didn't quite realize......particularly since you seem to be looking for him to express himself the same way you do

AskMen Reader

Good point.. I just figured he was that way since I met him like that ya know. Like where did all that go ? I do understand your point, he does take care of me, he's not sensitive so he really has no idea what to do when I cry. I hate it sometimes, I feel like if he was like this in the beginniing I would have never even dated him....now we're married. We share 5 kids and I of all people understand he's stressed, I want to help ease that but he doenst do anything emotionally for me in return anymore. I hate thinking that's all gone.

In the beginning many of us pull out all the stops and behave somewhat unnatural trying to woo/impress/win that other person. And men aren't the only ones who do that, many men complain how their women changed (for the worse) after marriage too - so this isn't gender, its human nature.

We eventually settle down and become more our true selves. I did not open my 1st date with my wife by disclosing that I could be an insensitive brute at times....ya know? That kind of came later...

Again....I encourage you to look into that love language thing to see if he is expressing himself in ways you didn't quite realized meant "I love you" - its at least worth a few minutes of your time

He is wrong in the sense you need to 'accept it' as if its not a flaw of his that he could stand to work on. A compromise sounds needed here. You try to not take things so personally (I know, easier said than done) and allow easy upset - and he to try to tread more gently at times mindful that his lady is more delicate than he is.

You say he takes care of you, loves to spend time with you & invites you to share in his hobbies - a man who didn't care wouldn't bother with any of that.

Try to focus on the positive rather than the negative and it may change your perspective on the matter. It seems like you aren't exactly giving him a fair shot here since he (like many of us) isn't the most tender hearted emotional guy out there. Sounds like he is bringing other things to the table which hopefully you appreciate.

When he invites you to sit with him and watch a movie or makes plans to go on a trip with you - he is telling you that you are important to him and that he cares about you. That matters.....don't discount it

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